Дата публикации: 2017-11-15 00:06
If I’m upfront about my not wanting something serious and my inability to fall in love, is it then their problem if they continue to harbor delusions of being “the one” that can change me? I get it, I thought I was in love many times before, before I realized it was the constant sex and offerings of food that kept me. So I know feelings can be confusing, but I also really want to get laid consistently with someone I can trust.
Think of it this way: if you use a hammer while building a house, did the hammer build it or did you? So it is with sex. That stimulation you’re giving her is the tool. You are the one wielding the tool. Once you accept that, the rest of your dilemma becomes much easier to resolve. Take her interest in OMGYes.
Everyone else I know seems to be having the opposite problem and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong? Or what I’m doing to attract guys like that even with my many warnings. The guys that are more willing to just hook up are usually pretty gross, and not my type at all if I’m being completely honest here. I’ve even tried guys that are single dads or super busy with work in the hopes that they’d be to busy to get on my case, but that’s a no go.
What you are doing is what is letting her get off. If you weren’t there, it wouldn’t be happening. Whether you’re doing it with your hand, your cock, a vibrator, or a bottle of honey, figs and seven white mice, you are the one giving her those orgasms.
That doesn’t mean that she’s unsatisfied with you, it means she wants to see if the two of you can change things up a bit and try new techniques. Just as a cook learning how to sous-vide doesn’t mean they think their previous food is garbage, learning more about sex and orgasms and ways to achieve them doesn’t mean that your previous method was bullshit, nor does it mean that she’s dissatisfied with you. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Because otherwise I would feel tempted to just rush into her arms, I talked to Tanya, especially since very recently through text she has been flirty, while I’ve been giving her a lot of mixed signals. I explained to her that although originally I intended to ask her out after some time passed, Jenny’s visceral reaction to the idea of us dating has given me pause, and even though we both want to date, I would need more time to decide what I think is right. Tanya understood, thankfully, so I have more time to figure it out and gauge how my ex is processing everything.
But after they relax there’s great rapport, we have chemistry and dates last hours with talking and flirting. I don’t hide that I’m still “dating” other people, I also don’t get jealous if they see other people either my only concern is that they use protection.
So take a deep breath, my dude. Everything is fine. The worst case scenario here is that you’re going to try some new ways of playing with orgasms that may not work 655% of the time, then you keep going with the known and reliable methods.
My question to you is: can’t it be both? The fact that you were a fling doesn’t mean that it wasn’t “real.” This wasn’t random chance. She didn’t draw your name out of a hat. She didn’t spin a bottle and hook up with you because the bottle happened to be pointing your way. You met, you hung out, she clearly was into you. That was real.
But the most likely reason she didn’t tell you that she was going back to her ex was because, to be perfectly honest, ToMA, it’s not really any of your business. You guys dated briefly that doesn’t mean that you’re supposed to get an update on who she’s hooking up with afterwards. You knew that she was going to likely be dating someone after she returned home were you expecting an alert when she did?