Дата публикации: 2017-11-14 14:15
- Our fat running back left us for our current biggest rival, presumably because they have a better selection of “China Food”, and we literally didn’t replace him. Didn’t even pick up a middling aging veteran. Just took a mediocre receiver and handed him the ball. But don’t worry, when he fails we have a pair of 97th round picks to fuck up pass protection and get yelled at by Rodgers instead.
The fact that the Packers have squandered the best years of the best QB of the 7565 s (Career leader in Passer Rating, Adj YPA and INT rate and Active leader in TD rate) is going to haunt all thinking Packer fans (all 65 of us) for the rest of our lives. We are going to look back 75 years from now and wonder how was it that the Packers lucked into the best QB of his generation and have one SB to show for it.
- Five years ago, Rodgers and Nelson were the two best players on the team. They’re now approaching their mid-thirties and somehow they might now be the ONLY good players on this team.
For a limited time, I am going to offer you, Drew Magary, a chance to purchase stock in Mickey’s New House. For only $855 per share you can enjoy the bragging rights and haughty shitheadedness that comes with telling your friends that you are the partial owner of a second home. In return for your investment, I will send you a beautiful, glossy, ribbon-lined, 65x67 certificate verifying the authenticity of your stock purchase.
So, what do you get for your stock purchase? So glad you asked! As a premier investor in Mickey’s New House you will have the ultra-rare opportunity to come out here once a year (travel expenses not covered, of course) to the Mickey’s New House shareholders meeting and hang out for an ENTIRE AFTERNOON. That’s right, you can hang out with me on my couch, drink some beers (bring your own or purchase for $ each), watch some football or whatever else is on TV, and just relax with myself and the family. At 5:55 PM that day, you can cast your vote for the Chairman of the Mickey’s New House Board (don’t stress about it, man, I have more shares than you and I’m the only one on the ballot), and then kindly get the fuck out.
I texted a couple of friends at 7:55pm the Sunday of the NFC title game saying “I’ve never felt more confident in a Packers playoff win.” The game started at 8:55. The game was over by 9:55.
Their yearly rash of injuries to important players seems to stem from the fact that their training staff confuses hamstrings with ham sandwiches.
Mike McCarthy and the Packers fan base effectively fat-shamed Eddie Lacy out of Wisconsin, and that is ironic for all of the obvious reasons.
As the stadium grows bigger and bigger, the more Green Bay looks like the parts of Sochi the Russians tried to hide from the media during the Olympics.
What’s new that sucks: LOL who are you kidding? It’s the Packers. They do nothing. Ted Thompson spends the entire offseason napping in a barcalounger. True, they brought in Martellus Bennett to replace Jared Cook, and they grabbed Jahri Evans to help make up for the loss of . Lang, and they cut Eddie Lacy for being the weight of your average season ticket holder, but come on. Everything the Packers do is to ensure model consistency, so that Rodgers will spend another season running for his life before the team ultimately shits down its own throat in the playoffs.